I struggle with these thoughts each day, but I find peace in knowing it was part of an elaborate, and meaningful plan.
About a year ago, my girlfriend and I broke up, and it was hard to believe it was a permanent change. It left me wondering, and asking questions about why it happened, and was the time wasted?
Even though it is still a sad part of my life, and I may wish it hadn’t happened, I finally understand the reasons.
I wasn’t ready for the relationship at the time, no matter what I tell myself, I wasn’t.
Most of the things she used to wish were different about me, are now different. In the ways she thought I was immature and under-developed, I am now the opposite. Truthfully, I was broken from the start of our relationship, and didn’t bother allowing myself to be fixed before we got together.
I can hardly believe how different I now am as a person. I face shame every day for who I was, a broken, shallow, poor excuse for a man. At the time, I couldn’t even be the man she needed.
I think God’s final test for our relationship, was teaching me about the unconditional act of sacrificial love.
I’d never had to give up something as important to me as she was. I could never have even understood what it meant to love, unconditionally.
But in letting her go, I sacrificed the one thing that could be a complete act of sacrificial love.
God’s act of sacrificial love was letting his own son, be tortured and murdered on the cross. It’s the biggest act of love in all of history, the basis of the Christian faith.
Before our relationship, I didn’t understand the sheer power of such a sacrifice, and the amount of love it takes to do it.
In all, I am sad to admit our relationship ended, but our season together changed the course of my life, and made me the man I am today. I am grateful for the lesson I’ve been taught, the love Jesus has for me, and that I can now comprehend how beautiful the Gospel message is.
Thank you for reading.